September / October 2017
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves
Destiny is a much talked about issue. What is destiny? How do we know what our destiny is?
I am often asked this when I have new clients or in workshops I am running. People usually ask me if an opportunity they have just been given or obstacle that is on their path is a sign about their destiny, about what they should do or shouldn’t do. The answer is a disconcerting, “Yes and No.” and only they know the real answer, deep inside.
As human beings we are often very uncomfortable with uncertainty. We want to know if something is or is not going to happen. When we find ourselves in different from our normal situations, or facing different roads to take or choices to be made, ‘not knowing’ unsettles our sense that there is an order to things and that there is a rhyme and reason to the flow of the universe.
This doesn’t mean the universe is in constant chaos, it means there is a natural ebb and flow at work in the world and it is our job to pay attention and listen to what the universe is showing us or telling us. That is how we find our destiny and that is how our destiny finds us. There is no ‘One’ destiny for any of us. There are a number of possibilities that exist, and while “Destiny” may call our name,” we determine which destiny we will answer to and which we may forgo.
Sometimes, certain people enter our lives at the perfect time, sometimes for the most beautiful of reasons, as if a gift from God, sometimes to push our buttons and try our patience, cause us pain or teach us other lessons, even these trials are a gift because they teach us and we can learn if we choose to do so.
We are constantly interacting, moving and changing within the universe and in response, the universe around us continues to change and fluctuate. Nothing ever stays the same. In fact life would be very boring if it didn’t change.
So what does all this mean? It means that destiny is a series of opportunities that are presented to us in one way or another
How we respond to those opportunities directly affects what new opportunities will arise. Sometimes it means taking a leap of faith, or taking a risk.
When we set out on a new journey we never know if it will bring us our hearts content or take us on another lesson of learning if it turns out to be a mistake. I actually like to think there are no real mistakes as long as we learn from them. I prefer to think of them as life lessons. Unless of course we keep making the same mistake over and over again, never learning, or changing our mind set. Life will keep throwing the lessons to be learnt over and over until you do learn it. We are after all our own master and we choose to be a victim or not.
All of life’s journeys begin this way and only we can decide if the risk is worth it. Either we walk through the door or we don’t and it is our unique life experiences that determine how we respond.
Meeting your destiny takes faith, strength and courage. Sometimes it means sacrificing what you think you want in order to take advantage of what you are actually being offered. Very often it means taking the first step and not being able to see the entire staircase.
Life will always throw you un-expected circumstances, some of which may make you feel like you’re fighting a battle. Yet in life, we need those struggles because that’s how we grow and change.
How successful we are on the “playing field” of life often has less to do with how well we can defend ourselves and more to do with the courage it takes for us to get there. Accepting and recognizing our destiny means we must accept the uncertainty of a given outcome and be willing to take that leap of faith when an opportunity arises.
Thinking of life as a battlefield rather than a playing field to be enjoyed, will also determine how you cope with life and what you are sent. We often attract what we think. So if you always think of life as a battle to be endured well then life will be a battle, your destiny becomes a battle. On the other hand think of life as a playing field to be enjoyed and your destiny becomes easier and more fun. It is entirely your choice how you think about it.
Perhaps the universe does have some hard and difficult plans for us ( and depending on your belief system), it is said we have agreed to everything that will happen to us this life time on earth before we come here. If this is so and the destiny we choose was a hard one, well we have to reach that destiny no matter what, but how we deal with it is our freedom of choice.
This is especially true when we keep finding obstacles in the way of our goals. How we approach those obstacles is directly related to what is going to happen. Your destiny lies in whether you can accept what is, and work with it constructively or rail against it by throwing yourself up against a brick wall. You can insist the universe be any way you want it to be, however, all the insistence in the world won’t “make it so.”!
There is a wonderful old adage “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade;” and when life hands you cherries, eat them while they’re fresh and sweet!
When you trust your own inner voice and listen to what the universe tells you, your destiny will find you right where you are and you will recognize your destiny because you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be!
Step into Action
- If you are facing obstacles – write them down in your journal.
- Next to each obstacle ask,- have I dealt with this obstacle before ? did I ignore it, did I deal with it ?
- See if there are patterns, if you didn’t deal with it, why? What did you do?
- If you did deal with it, ask why is it showing up again? Look at the situation and see how you can change your thinking about it. What is it reminding us to do or not do?
- If it is a new relationship and you are not sure if this is right for you, question it.
- Look at it, ask does it feel right? Are there any signs to be suspicious about? Does it follow patterns from past not good relationships? If so discard it. See the warning signs.
- The universe will keep sending you the same, until you learn and value yourself and the lessons. This is destiny. You make your own.
- Do you think of life as a Battle field or a Playing field? If you think of it as a battlefield and life is always throwing you hardships ask yourself why you wish this to continue.
- Change your thoughts and you change your destiny.
- Life is to be enjoyed.
Love Yourself Your Worth It !
© Julie Lomas, 2017 This document may be freely distributed in its entirety but may not be reused in whole or part without full recognition of the author